How to Build Momentum for the Change You Want

I’m reminded of the great TED talk by psychologist Dan Gilbert. He says, “we live in an illusion that history, our personal history, has just come to an end, that we have just recently become the people that we were always meant to be, and will be for the rest of our lives.”

Gilbert goes on to say that we underestimate how much we’ve changed in the past 10 years and how much we will change in the next decade.

Think about changes you’ve already achieved. For example, what values were important to you in your 30s? Your 40’s? And how have those values changed as you’ve aged? I know that my view of what success looks like has evolved dramatically as I’ve grown older.

We may not be able to fathom our “future self” as Gilbert calls it. But so long as we breathe, we will be different people in the days, weeks, and years that we walk the earth.

However, to achieve intentional incremental change, effort must be applied,to reap momentum towards your desires. It’s important not to be detoured by the sweat of the climb, but instead to see yourself traveling on the adventure of a lifetime.

Here are some questions to help you focus as you approach your voyage of change.

• What is one thing you’d like to change? I’d like to be more focused in my actions. I tend to flit from one project to another leaving things undone for long stretches of time. It’s the nature of my work that I can only go so far until other details fall into place. To stay focused, I plan to do a better job of monitoring my progress with tools such as habit trackers.

 

• Understand your “wired” self. You likely have a good idea about your personal tendencies. Although these change with time, it’s good to touch base with your wired nature; this personality is neither good nor bad, but just how you tend to operate. Identifying how you deal with the world helps you gently figure out how to adapt and progress, given your nature.

I used to think I was an extrovert who needed to gab and be social. As I’ve aged, however, I’ve realized that talking is just my way of dealing with nervous energy. I misunderstood that my wired tendency as an audio learner, and so I needed to speak more. In fact, I discovered I needed to listen more.

• How can you strategically set yourself up for the change you want? If you understand your natural tendencies, then make a plan that factors them in.

I’m prone to taking on the moods and attitudes around me, by way of what I watch and the people I associate with. I made a conscious decision to stop watching broadcast news all the time, and to STOP writing snarky comments on social media.

It’s been a solid year of progress in these areas, and the result has been that I’m less anxious and less depressed. Consequently, I’m also opened to being more understanding.

• Recognize Intentional Change Is Your Ongoing Project. Even though change may slow as we age, there is always that future self we can’t imagine now. If you desire to have some input toward your future you though, it will take incremental intentional momentum to get there. 

If New Year’s resolutions are off-putting to how you are wired, try taking an “old resolution” approach as that described in the article over at Iowa Dispatch.

Begin by recognizing that progress is two steps forward and one step back, and allow for ongoing improvement as a lifelong project. I love the Benjamin Franklin quote the article sites:

“But, on the whole, thou I never arrived at the perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was, by the endeavour, a better and happier man then I otherwise should have been if I had not attempted it.” 

 

The Power of Humility

Personal improvement is about finding your source of power. It's easy to feel powerless when we look outside. Grace comes when we work on what is within our realm. In response to fear, spread the message that we are all humbly human.